Saturday, December 25, 2010

A Very Matt & Mia Christmas to you!


Hallo.

Hope your holiday - whichever you do or don't celebrate - was a good one.

We had fun having a day or two off work and getting getting better acquainted with addicted to our brand new Wii gaming system. A game of tennis or a bowling match in the afternoons is now a foregone conclusion.

The Wii was my gift to my darling Matt.
That I also kinda wanted.
A lot.

Shhhhhh.

But my favorite gift that I received has to be a toss-up between:

A Shun 8-inch chef's knife

OR

CANELE MOLDS!
(omgwtfbbq!!1!)

The molds are lovely and fun to play with. Also heavy, which I somehow didn't anticipate. Haven't tried cooking with them yet - a bit intimidated.

And the KNIFE. The knife is a thing of beauty. Classic marbled steel that Shun is famous for, good heft, and sharper than a freakin' razor. Don't worry - the bandage on my thumb in the picture above is from a mandolin slicer accident, not the knife.

... So that should put your mind at ease.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now that we're a week away from Christmas, with the first snowfall firmly on the ground and the next on its way, I'd like to take the opportunity to talk turkey.

Or, as the case may be, pumpkin.

oooooooooooh....

I found this beauty at a local farmer's market a while back. It was $.39 a pound, and absolutely gorgeous. I brought it home, set it on my kitchen table, and for nearly a month gazed at it, petteded it, and took pictures of it, until finally:

I had to kill it.


Brutally.


It took 6 hours of constant chopping and multiple trips the oven, but eventually I diced and roasted the whole damned thing. And later made the most fantastic roasted pumpkin seeds ever.

Words cannot describe how sore I was the next day. I had bruises on my palms, and my arms and thighs thought I had been cross-country skiing. It took me a full week to recover.

But it was totally worth it.

I'm amazed at how flavorful this pumpkin is. We've made several dishes with it (risottos, pastas, and cookies spring to mind) and still have a ton in the freezer. It is sweet and nicely textured, and adds amazing depth to anything I use it in. I wish I knew for sure what the variety was... I want to say it's a Cinderella, but the sign at the market just said "Old Fashioned Pumpkin."

Keep them that way, please!

I've saved some seeds for planting next year.

(Tiny Turkey Day for Two: Pasta in a nutmeg bechamel sauce with roasted pumpkin and parmesan cheese. Delicious! Thought I had a pic of the finished dish, but apparently I do not. Next time I make it, I'll take a picture and post it as a pic-only entry. Then you will feel like a true Insider.)


Monday, November 8, 2010

caneles!!

Wow - I told you I made batter for these yummy french pastries, then left you hanging for over two weeks.

Sorry about that.

I did make the things, and the results were okay by the second batch, tho I've yet to experience the custardy center that is the stuff of legend. Aside from winging it with the mini muffin tins, I also preheated the tins as noted in the traditional recipe, tho this step wasn't mentioned in the recipe I was using. So perhaps they cooked quicker than they ordinarily would, and so the timer was ultimately useless.

The first batch had an aroma not unlike toasted marshmallows. And a similar appearance, too:

A little too dark, and definitely overdone, though Matt was certainly not complaining. I think this might be one case where he preferred the mistake.

I had enough batter left to try again, so I did:

The color was better this time around, and the center was definitely softer than the surrounding crust, but it was still firmly in "cake" category. Very good, nonetheless, but I don't think it's quite what French pastry chefs would call successful.

Third time's the charm?

We shall see.

I think it mainly comes down to the molds, or possibly to tweaking the recipe to work with the tools available to me.

Alternately, if anyone's wanting gift ideas for the coming holiday season, the traditional molds are only $20.00 a piece!

I need eighteen of them.

Get on that, will you?


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Terrified.

Yesterday I made batter for caneles (can-eh-lay. alternate spelling: canneles.).

They are a French pastry with a dark brown, crispy, caramelized crust, and a custard-like interior.

Traditionally they are made in copper molds coated with food-grade beeswax.

Copper molds and beeswax!!!
Am I out of my mind???

I do not have copper molds (available for around $20.00 a piece - for one 1 1/2 inch mold) or beeswax (because I don't know any local honey farmers) so I am using mini muffin tins and clarified butter.

And praying.

A lot.

The batter is simple - simmered milk,butter, and vanilla combined with flour, sugar, eggs, and rum. Then it has to sit for at least twenty-four hours.

Then you have to cook them at all these varying temps for like two hours, and hope you can get them out of the molds and they're actually edible.

I keep reading comments like, "On my fifth batch, I got results I was satisfied with."

I'm freaking out.
Why am I doing this?

...Because they sound delicious.

I've been obsessing about them ever since I found out about their existence four days ago, and apparently I've decided to take the plunge. I'll let you know what happens.

Monday, October 11, 2010

anecdote.

I have always loved brussels sprouts.

The first time I tried them - I would've been about seven years old - I loved them so much that I attempted to shove a whole one into my tiny mouth and eat it all at once. The resulting gagging fit was enough to convince my mother that what she'd heard her whole life was true - all children hate brussels sprouts.

And why shouldn't they?

And what was she thinking giving such vile vegetables to her child?

Remorseful, she never made brussels sprouts again. I had to wait until I could buy and make my own food before I ever tasted another.

[end scene]

So sad!!!!

I probably have 20 different brussels sprouts recipes in my collection. I've one recipe that calls for a brown sugar butter sauce that is amazingly delicious, and know a great (if work-intensive) technique for a warm salad that involves separating the leaves of the heads.

We were turned on to a new technique recently:

Grilled Brussels Sprouts

Have you ever??

The recipe called for skewering the heads before throwing them on the grill, but it didn't take long to determine that this was a dangerous and difficult approach that would most likely end with the skewering of ourselves. So we just halved them and used my metal cooling rack as a guard against any of the sprouts falling into the fire.

I tossed them with olive oil [as directed], then added a splash of serrano-infused vodka I happen to have (I'm preserving the chiles from my garden), and some salt and pepper, and put them over the hot coals for about five minutes per side. After I took them off the heat I tossed them with some crushed red pepper flakes and some blue cheese crumbles.

Delicious!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Important Note.

I've been down for most of a week with food poisoning resulting from a cup of clam chowder purchased from Cafe 251 located at 251 N. Illinois Street in Indianapolis, Indiana. I ate there for lunch on Tuesday, missed work Wednesday and Thursday, attempted to go back Friday, but only lasted until noon.

I am now aware that at least six people from my company alone have gotten sick from eating at that establishment in the less than two years since we have been at this location.

If you are in the area and the idea should arise, DO NOT EAT THERE.

I will be contacting the Board of Health.

... So, after sleeping for the majority of what remained of Friday, and sleeping until 11:00 AM or so yesterday, I attempted a grocery shopping trip. It went reasonably well, though I did take a nap afterwards, and I actually ended up cooking last night.

And eating!
A lot!

I made Indian-spiced pork chops. :-)

I got the recipe from a suburb addition of our local paper, which regularly provides five easy week-night recipes. This week's were from a recently updated edition of a 1972 cookbook titled "The Rodale Whole Foods Cookbook."

Here's what it says to do:

(serves four)

2 tsp garam masala
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
4 boneless pork chops (5 oz each)
4 tsp vegetable oil

It says to mix all the spices together, pat the mix on both sides of the pork chops, then brush them with the oil and stick them under a pre-heated broiled for 3 minutes per side.

The garam masala I have is already in an oil-based paste form, so I just added a couple of tsp of oil to the whole mix and smeared it on 3 bone-in chops. There's only two of us, after all.

I cooked as suggested, flipping and adjusting cooking time slightly until the part near the bone measured 140 Fahrenheit.

No pics, unfortunately.
Sorry. I'm better, but not THAT better. :-/

Anyway, this was delicious. Despite what newspaper reviewer Joanie Fuson says. (And I quote: "The flavor was a bit overbearing for the kids. Consider cutting the rub ingredients in half.")

What the hell, lady? Maybe you should just teach your kids to use their taste buds. I know we're in Indiana, but you could at least pretend to have a cultural palette. If this had been any more mild, it would've just been salted pork chops. It had a lovely flavor - unique and very fragrant. If your kids don't like it, make them try it some other time.

I served it with baked sweet potatoes, Indian whole milk yogurt, and spicy cilantro relish. We had galub jamun for dessert. And coffee! I hadn't had coffee since Tuesday morning!

Tonight is either spaghetti squash or risotto, depending on what I feel up to doing.

(I actually got hungry around lunchtime today! I had asian soup!)

... and I promise to update you on how we came across all of these Indian ingredients in the first place. But seriously, DO NOT EAT AT CAFE 251.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Pardon My Absence (pt 2)

The Grand Canyon by rail, courtesy of AmTrak.

Very romantic, very scenic, and at times very frustrating. With that in mind, I'd like to talk about Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Albuquerque is the epicenter of Suck.

This was scientifically tested and proven during our trip west.

If you live in or are from Albuquerque, I am sorry. Really, really sorry. You should move! Your life would be a whole lot better! Just ask NPH or French Stewart!

The trouble started about an hour outside of the city.

We were informed that we would be spending over an hour at the station, so practically no one made reservations for dinner on board the train. Because everybody knows that the one thing Albuquerque has going for it, besides hot-air balloons, is burritos.

BUT THEN - We started hitting unexpected red signals, requiring super slow speeds and verification from the home station and a whole bunch of hassle.

By the time we got to the station, we were informed that it would only be a 15 minute stop, and if you had to disembark, you should stay close. So, no yummy overstuffed burritos laced with fresh green chiles for us. Instead: microwavable pizza from the snack car!

But here's the kicker: Because the resident citizenry of Albuquerque is too stupid to realize that unticketed people actually do have to get off the train at some point, we were actually at the station for over an hour!!! Not allowed to go search out yummy food, but put behind schedule minute by minute because people's family and friends wouldn't get off the train!!!!

What is up with that??

[deep breath to decompress]

(This helps, a little...)

So, I have figured out the formula for Albuquerque: The closer you get, the more things suck. The further away you are, the more things improve. But you are left with a residual craving for burritos.

On the way back east, we were given an unexpected gift. We arrived in Albuquerque an hour ahead of the time printed in the schedule, for an hour-plus stay (must've been a typo). We managed to blindly find some super delicious burritos within three or four blocks of the train station.

Fellow passengers were violently jealous.
We were threatened with stoning.
Good times!

An added bonus to train travel: We arrived back in Chicago three hours before our bus was scheduled to depart. In that time, we managed to track down a Pizano's location within walking distance - home to the best pizza we've ever had, and a super selection of draft beer, to boot. Hadn't visited in 4 years. SO glad we had the opportunity.


So I suppose it's all good, despite the existence of Albuquerque.

Travel by train.
Seriously - DO IT.
If you can at all afford it, do it.
At least once.

If you don't, you might miss something you can never imagine.
Good or bad, it's still a happening.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Pardon My Absence (pt. 1)

We went on a little trip...

Pretty, isn't it?
It was in celebration of our 5th wedding anniversary.

This trip to the canyon was gorgeous and awe-inspiring and nerve-wracking and beyond description, as usual, but we did notice a disturbing trend of young people wearing flip-flops emerging from steep trails and racing to the edge of the rim to balance on one foot, taking pictures with their cameras the whole way.

Wearing flip-flops!

oh my god!!!!

But, since this is a food blog and not a travel blog, let's get down to the matter at hand:

I managed to con my husband into dinner at both the Bright Angel and El Tovar. That's right, two of the most famous National Park lodges EVER. Go ME!! (OK, so we split the cost. I still consider it a win. :-p)

Dinner #1: Bright Angel (The Arizona Room)
Him: The best corn chowder I've ever tasted, creamy with some whole (fire-roasted?) kernels, topped with crispy tortilla strips. There was nutmeg in that soup, I think. Possibly white pepper and cinnamon. Main course was blue corn breaded chicken with an ancho honey sauce, served with hominy mixed with wild rice and some steamed veggies.

Her: A nondescript though yummy green salad, followed by an incredible serving of baby back ribs cooked in a prickly pear barbecue sauce, served with a portion of green chile "creamed" corn and the requisite steamed veggies.

I loved how fully they captured the flavors of the region, and I loved that I wasn't the only person taking pictures of my food.

As a bonus, they prepared one of the best martinis I've ever had. Making it super easy to wander into the crevasse a few yards away...


Dinner #2: El Tovar
... The eldest and grandest lodge at the Canyon, El Tovar is not the kind of place where one feels comfy whipping out a flashing camera to take a snap of the main course. I can, however, tell you what we ate:

Together: Appetizer of mozzarella roulades of prosciutto and basil pesto, served with tiny kalamata olives and marinated yellow and red roma tomatoes, drizzled with olive oil.

(Very, very, VERY good, and I don't even like olives. Ate them all.)

Him: Roasted Half Duck with Citrus Marmalade Glaze, served with roasted poblano black bean rice.

Her: Sauteed Rainbow Trout with Pumpkin Seed Pesto and Rice Pilaf.

This was Matt's first foray with duck, and I'm glad to say it was prepared phenomenally. The flavor of all the dishes was fantastic.

We never ordered dessert.... Perhaps the best capper that could ever be was walking out into the night to see the universe laid bare above us. Thousands of stars, meteors, and the Milky Way tumbling around in the absolute blackness.


(Coming soon, pt. 2: Did I mention that we travelled by train?)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Garlic Soup

Garlic. In. Everything.
This is my motto.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I came across a recipe for Garlic Soup during a random search though my Gourmet cookbook. I had been looking for gingerbread, but... my plans changed.

I tried it; I loved it.
I tried it again; I loved it again.

And so I planned to document its creation and share it with you, dear readers, upon the first given opportunity since the advent of this blog. That opportunity occurred on August 28, 2010.

Step One: Thinly slice one head of garlic:

Yes, one head of garlic.
About 2 inches in diameter.

Step Two: Cook the sliced garlic in 3 tablespoons of olive oil over low to medium heat, until it is tender and lightly golden:


Step Seventy-eight: Garlic Soup with fried crusty bread and poached egg, garnished with fresh cilantro:


... I kinda forgot to take pictures during the process.
Sorry.

Basically you remove the garlic from the pan and fry some sliced bread in the garlic-infused oil, two pieces per person, about two minutes per side. Put the bread into empty soup bowls.

Pour 4 cups of poultry stock (preferably homemade), 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes, and the cooked garlic into that same pan, and bring to a simmer. Slide some eggs in there and poach them until they're done - whites cooked, but yolks still runny.

Plate by putting the cooked eggs on top of the bread, spooning the broth around, sprinkling with cilantro, and squeezing some lime over the whole thing.

When you tuck in, the broth turns a lovely light buttery yellow, and the bread becomes creamy and velvety by the finish.

So Good.

I have the exact recipe, if anyone's interested.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Who are your influences?

This is my cookbook collection:
5 Asian (2 Thai?)
3 Mexican
4 Regional American
1 Spanish
1 Moroccan
1 by some French guy
1 from New Zealand
1 specifically for Cheese
1 specifically for Sauces
4 all-inclusive
Some paper print-outs
Some catalogs
1 memoir
Some geared towards Simplicity, and some decidedly Not.

This collection has arrived by careful picking through bargain bins, gifts from people who know I like to cook, and a husband who likes to spend his free time at discount bookstores.

(Gifts from Matt, within the last three weeks:

...not that I'm complaining)

Some of my favorite books of all time are on that shelf (Alton Brown, ftw!), and I honestly believe that without them, my life would not be as rich as it is. I sure as hell couldn't cook as well as I do. The more you read, the more you absorb... the more ideas you get.

You start thinking.

Incorporating.

Wondering.

.. and then maybe you understand that certain flavors go together, and certain ingredients might not be such strange bedfellows.

And maybe you come up with something like teriyaki-marinated tofu served on a bed of tzatziki, drizzled with a chinese chili garlic sauce and teriyaki reduction, with an herb salad dressed with warm serrano-lime vinaigrette on the side.

And maybe it's the best thing ever.

...And maybe not.
But you'll never know if you don't try.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

millions of peaches.

I apologize -

I logged on to the machine about an hour ago, intent on writing an update with the above title, but I got distracted by Rachel Tractenburg. According to my email inbox, she's got some new kid's show going. The episode linked to featured Andrew W.K...

[There was initially a dissertation in this space regarding the bizarre interconnectivity of the Tractenburgs and The Presidents of the United States of America, tied in with Morphine and Disney and the Noise scene. But then I realized that it sounded like the ramblings of a paranoid schizophrenic and should probably be deleted.

Suffice to say, Chris Ballew controls the universe and the rest of us are just privileged to live here.]

Moving on.


We have a peach tree in our garden.

We thought it was defunct, but apparently we were wrong.

Turns out all those heavy green fruits dropping into our yard were just impatient.

We now have the loveliest, freshest, mildest peaches to do with as we please... it just kinda sucks that we didn't realize it earlier. There is fruit rotting on the ground that could've been ripened in a paper bag and thoroughly enjoyed.

I did manage to make this:

peach rosemary crumble with whole milk european-style yogurt

Yummy, and hopefully not the last dish to be created.

Oh, and because a fruit crumble is often thought to be easy, but is often impossible to pull off, here is the recipe I used for the thing:

Get some fruit (at least a couple of cups), and slice it up.
Sprinkle liberally with sugar, and a couple TBS of flour.
(I also added cinnamon and fresh rosemary, but that would depend on what fruit you're using.)

For the crumble crust:
2 TBS flour
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup rolled oats (not instant)
5 TBS butter

Toss all the fruit ingredients up and put it in a pie dish, Then mush all the crust ingredients up in a separate bowl until it's combined and crumbly, then sprinkle it over the fruit. Put the whole thing in a pre-heated 400 fahrenheit oven for about 3o minutes, give or take, until everything's golden brown and bubbly.

Serve with sour cream, yogurt, ice cream, or whipped cream.

mmmmm.



Monday, August 9, 2010

Nirvana

We didn't make it to the state fair this weekend. It just didn't seem like a weekend for hanging out with a crowd of strangers. An update on various fried foods and giant pumpkins will have to wait.

However, just after hitting "Publish Post" on my last entry, Matt returned home with a book on street food. This subject is somewhat of an obsession for me, so I immediately started looking through it. I got stuck on the India section, which led to an impromptu night out for some of THE BEST INDIAN FOOD ON THE PLANET. Or at least in the city.

Mad props to India Palace Restaurant at 4213 Lafayette Rd in Indianapolis. You should throw some biz their way if you are a fan of Indian cuisine, or even if you're just curious to try it. SO GOOD. I of course did not bring my camera to the restaurant, but here's a snap of some artfully arranged left-overs:

Clock-wise, from upper left: Punjabi Bhaji (fried veggie fritters with ginger, garlic, and tomato sauce), Basmati Rice (with peas), Paneer Shahi Korma (cubed cheese, cashews, and peas in an herbed, spiced cream sauce), and Garlic Naan.

The Punjabi Bhaji was deeply flavorful and nicely spicy without being overwhelming, the Paneer Shahi Korma had that great mixture of sweet and spicy that makes Indian food... Indian food, with enough textural interest to keep us gobbling it up, and the Garlic Naan was perfectly cooked, so that it was tender and crisp all at once.

It was so good we were laughing as we ate it. That was the only reaction we could think of.

(Of course, I secretly suspect that there is some sort of secret ingredient in Indian food that forces you to be happy. Because we were sort of gloomy and mopey before we ate, and then afterwards we were not. Only possible explanation.)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Mozzicotta

OK, so remember the cheese with the odd texture that I accidentally produced for my homemade pizza?

We've decided it is extraordinary.
And it shall henceforth be called Mozzicotta.

Being woefully ignorant of all but the most mainstream cheeses out there, I hereby lay claim to inventing this culinary wonder.

It has the fresh milky taste of ricotta, but holds together like mozzarella, and is creamier than either one. It was much appreciated on the pizza, but wasn't truly lauded until tried with the following:

salad caprese verde
(This was served alongside some shrimp scampi fettuccine, courtesy of Bertolli. Shrimp is surprisingly unphotogenic.)

spaghetti marinara
(Featuring a homemade sauce with garlic, herbs, and red wine. And canned tomatoes.)

What?

Anyway, it's amazing. So now I just need to figure out what I screwed up the last time I made cheese, so that I can repeat my mistakes en perpetuity.

[FYI - tomorrow we are going to the state fair, so hopefully I will return with pictures of lots of fried things and giant pumpkins!]

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Memory.

I've not formally cooked anything since the big pizza project, but I feel the need to update, so I thought I'd share something with you -

The last time I was in New York City was for my 16th birthday.
It was February.
It was cold.

My father flew my mom and me there to see my favorite broadway musical, which, despite the title of this entry, did not involve ballet dancers dressed up as felines.

I remember that we went to this little cellar restaurant that had really good cappuccino. It was served in a cup that was the size of a small soup bowl. I had to use two hands to drink it. And I had some kind of pasta, but I forget what kind.

Ravioli?

They were really good about getting us out of the restaurant and into the -30 degree street in time for the show.

So - here is the thing I really remember:

After seeing Phantom at The Majestic, we ended up in Little Italy. The little cafe we went to had the most amazing chocolate chip butter cookies. And some awesome cappuccino. It was warm and intimate, and I just remember feeling really comfy and nurtured there. Soft, yellow light and that clattering ambiance you associate with neighborhood hang outs.

It has stuck with me all these years as the feeling of true contentment. I wish I could go back there again, but I know I'd never find it. I'm not sure how we ended up there in the first place.

The hotel we stayed at was across from Winter Garden, right on Broadway. I don't remember anything remarkable about it, except that the cappuccino in the hotel restaurant was really good.

I didn't sleep at all for the 3 days we were there.
It took me months to figure out why....

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

pizza from the ground up:

Ever since my first foray into making mozzarella cheese, when I found a recipe for making pizza dough using whey left over from the cheese making process, an idea has rumbled around in my head:

What if I could make a pizza completely from scratch?

Cheese that I made myself.
Sauce that I made myself, from things growing in my own garden.
Homemade dough.
Toppings grown in my own garden, as well.

It's like a life-long dream that I didn't even realize I had until six months ago.

And although I can't believe it:

I did it!!!

The feeling of accomplishment is amazing.
I'm so proud I want to cry.

Is it perfect?
No.
But it's very close!

The cheese has sort of a weird texture as the curds were tiny and wet, and I couldn't get them to stretch properly. It's kind of a cross between a milky ricotta and a melty mozzarella. Which, as it turns out, is absolutely delicious on pizza.

It took forever to cook due to the moisture in the tomatoes, so the border crust was nicely browned before the center was even sort of done. I ended up tenting all but the center in foil, cranking the oven temp to 450 f, and cooking for 30 minutes longer than recommended.

Due to the cooking time and consistency, the cheese was a lovely toasty brown, and so was flipped for the above photo. :-p

But - the bottom line is... It's here. It's here, and I made it, and it's delicious. Delicious! All that cooking time really concentrated the tomato flavor, and the crust is flavorful and crispy (and thoroughly cooked) without being dry.


Pizza Margherita
I. Made. This.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Green Zebra!!

This is a Green Zebra tomato.

I have wanted to try one of these for years, and now I have them growing in my own backyard.

I wasn't sure what to expect upon my first tasting. All of the descriptions I've read describe it as slightly firmer and more tangy than "ordinary" red tomatoes, but I think people just expect that to be the case because it's green.

It is delicious. Sweet and sharp and juicy - it might be the most tomato-y tasting tomato I've ever had the privilege to eat. It's tiny, but there is so much flavor in there!

I used it to make what Matt describes as the best salad he's ever had (thank you thank you). Green leaf lettuce with green zebra tomato and blanched harvester bush beans, dressed in a warm serrano lime vinaigrette.

Served with a left-over baked potato thing I got at some fast food place on Friday.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

primal

Are you like me?
Are you an ex-vegetarian who likes her steak served mooing?

Good!

Now that we're on the same page, check this out:

This was our first time grilling steak.

Well-prepared sliced cow is amazing...

Oh, c'mon - look at it!
It's obviously delicious!

The technique we used: Hot coals. Hot grate. Three minutes per side, then flip. Temperature after two flips = 120 degrees = medium rare.

We question the second flip.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Open Letter:

Dear Produce Manager of the Marsh Supermarket on the corner of Lynhurst and Rockville in Indianapolis, Indiana:

Sunday I decided to make a quick stop at your establishment to pick up a few things for grilling and other nibbles. Frankly I have low expectations for your department, as the offerings are usually lackluster, but how bad can you screw up, say, garlic?
Question: Any idea how long garlic has to sit around before it starts sprouting? Care to hazard a guess? Because I'm pretty sure your merchandise moves quicker than the picture above would suggest. Every single head was sprouting or falling apart. I found two that were in one piece with no visible shoots, but they were brown.
For your customers' herbaceous needs, a choice of sage, rosemary, or thyme in little plastic boxes. That's it. You don't even bother to stock parsley. Let alone the dill and mint I was actually looking for. Sure there was half a ton of drenched, decomposing cilantro, but what good is that when you need DILL and MINT. DILL AND MINT! These are not exotic ingredients!
 
I note that you can also get iceberg lettuce or prepackaged cucumbers, also wrapped in plastic. Although I love those little baby cucumbers, so do not stop carrying those.
The onion and potato selection, in it's entirety. Choose from battered, dried up red onions, or battered, dried up white onions (while they last). And of course, a smattering of green potatoes, conveniently wrapped in - you got it - plastic.
 
You should be ashamed of yourself.

As I said, I don't even have high expectations for this particular store, but I didn't expect to be unable to find viable garlic. It's garlic. It's a common ingredient that lasts forever; that's why it's been used to flavor food all over the world throughout the history of mankind.

The complete lack of any fresh seafood what-so-ever, the dairy section that might be a little warm, the overstocking of hostess snack cakes? Fine, whatever. But we are in the middle of farm country. There is no excuse for a vegetable section in a major supermarket to look like that. I don't care if you are contractually obligated to get your avocados from China or something - at least pick good ones.

You should be afraid to show your face in public. 

Embarrassment should be the primary emotion that fills your days. 

I certainly hope you don't brag about your job to anyone, because if you do, they're laughing at you. Your wife's probably cheating on you, just so she can deal with someone competent for part of her life. 

 When we first moved to this city, I went through a period of severe depression related to the perceived lack of quality food and ingredients. Eventually, I gained hope that there were people out there who were interested in good things. That somewhere, if you dug a little bit, there were people out there interested in flavors aside from salt and fat. 

 You, sir, do not cater to those people. The trip to your department has reaffirmed my cynicism, and I suppose I should thank you for lowering my expectations, as they were apparently rising too high. A grocery trip should not end in tears. 

 Sincerely, 
Someone who actually cares

Saturday, July 10, 2010

cucumber.


Here is a 12-inch-long cucumber, a gift from another garden.
Any ideas?


... any recipe ideas?

Monday, July 5, 2010

'shrooms

I see that it's been six entries since my last note about pickles.
Clearly this must be remedied.

^
Pickled Mushrooms

Yes - I have pickled mushrooms!
Which, let's face it, is as close to pickled dirt as you can get.

I couldn't find any one recipe that was 100% satisfactory, so I cobbled together common elements from the ones that looked decent, and here's what I came up with:

1 1/2 cups each white wine vinegar and water
2 generous tbs pickling spice
1 tsp coarse salt
1 generous pinch brown sugar (don't go overboard)
2 cloves garlic, crushed
red onion, thinly sliced, enough to provide a few rounds of rings
1 lb button mushrooms, about 1 inch in diameter

Throw everything but the onions and mushrooms in a pot, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, add the (cleaned) mushrooms, simmer 3 minutes. Add onions, simmer additional 7 minutes. Spoon mushrooms and onions into jars, cover with brine, seal, and process 5 minutes in a canning bath if desired.

I desired.

It was my first time canning, and it was amazingly rewarding. I have pickled mushrooms in my pantry now, and I have every assurance that they will not kill me when I eat them!

... I hope.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Food Hamlet Likes:

steak
dairy
pulled pork, but not other pork
canned peas
coffee (<-- on his Wants List. Comes up to my cup every time and shys away. One time I found him with his head submerged in my cup of Cafe au Lait.)
Harry & David's pickled carrots, but not my pickled carrots
polenta
Dorito powder
sushi, but only if it's tuna
mashed potatoes
bbq sauce
brussels sprouts

And almonds.
Apparently.

He stole one from me today, and later tried to bribe me out of one that was already being consumed.

... I don't understand that kid sometimes.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tea: It's What's for Dinner!

Beans on Toast with a fried-egg topper, served with Twinings English Breakfast and milk!
(and a fork that was apparently attacked by a rabid kitchen monster)

Okay, so this might be a mash-up of a traditional English breakfast and a tea snack. All I know is it's delicious. The crispness of the toasted bread, the tangy creaminess of the beans, and the runny richness of the over-medium egg twirl together in a perfect storm of heavenly yumminess.

The pairing of English tea goes without saying.

Not sure if I invented the fried-egg-on-top thing, but if I did, I deserve a pat on the back.

And!

I didn't even have to lift a finger for this yummy food to appear. Matt ran into the kitchen and came back minutes later with trays of culinary perfection!

Bonus!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Guac.

There's a Chinese philosophy related to Feng Shui and the principle of yin/yang which dictates that it is best to eat cold foods in winter and hot foods in summer. It's all about balancing bodily energies with the energy of nature.

Aside from the romantic notion of drinking tea in the Sahara, I completely disagree with this.

For example:

Guacamole

Can you imagine eating that with a foot of snow on the ground?
I think not.

Point proven.

It's a perfect summer dish, and here is my ingredient list for a portion of one:

1 avocado (I've noticed they seem puny this year. You might want to up the count to 2.)
Chopped fresh chiles (I like Serrano, but in the above pic I used home-grown jalapeno)
1 clove of garlic, minced
Cilantro, chopped, however much you want (a few tbs for me, thanks)
Juice of one lime
Pinch of salt

Basically you just mash everything together, and there you have it.
Guacamole!

Good with plain chips.

Extra good with cheesey nachos -




And, because I came across it while looking through pics, here is a three-year-old picture of Hamlet:


Monday, June 21, 2010

Longest Day 2010.

Happy Summer!!!


This being Summer Solstice, it is the official start of the season, and the longest day of the year. Thereby making it the best day of the year.

As per usual, we had gazpacho for our annual Longest Day dinner. This year we served it with grilled bread (with garlic and olive oil), grilled chicken breast (rubbed with a spicy mesquite seasoning), and prosecco (which was a happy find, as I planned on coming home with ordinary champagne).


You know, every year I go online looking for the definitive gazpacho recipe, thinking there is one and I've forgotten it. Every year I remember that there isn't one. It's a chilled veggie soup with a million interpretations. Just stay away from anything that actually calls for "tomato juice" as an ingredient, because the whole point is that it's a raw, fresh soup.

Also!

This was our first time ever grilling skinless, boneless chicken breasts, and they were fantastic! Perfectly done, moist, tender... Not sure how we managed that. I think a lot of the credit has to go to Searing First, Cooking Thoroughly Second.

The night was super enjoyable, though HOT, and we stayed outside watching fireflies until after 10:00, listening to Pink Martini on the stereo.

Even the cat joined in, staying outside for what is probably his latest supervised night out ever.

He really wanted some of my bread. Like, really wanted some of my bread. Everytime I picked it up, he practically tripped over himself trying to paw it out of my hand. Poor confused kitty....

Lovely Longest Day.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Jam!


I made jam!!
From things growing in my own backyard!!

I was given this "old fashioned" non-pectin recipe, and followed it exactly, except that I added some ground cloves and cinnamon and nutmeg, and reduced the sugar ratio slightly. But other than that, I followed it exactly.

It's gorgeous, and it tastes super fantastically delicious.
The most raspberry raspberriness ever.

Too bad it's roughly the consistency of TAR.

I followed the recipe exactly, but I forgot to account for the quantity discrepancy. I was cooking roughly one fourth of the berries the recipe called for, and should have adjusted the cooking time accordingly. I feel like an idiot. Seriously - who doesn't think about things like this?

I really feel like a complete failure. I don't care if this was my first attempt at jam; I should've known better.

I suppose some solace can be taken, in that - given tonight's black raspberry harvest - I can try again in a night or two.

Also, there might be other things lurking about to give me hope...

(blueberries - ready to pop)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

1/2 pint


I'm sure you thought this entry was going to be about Melissa Gilbert, but actually I need your help.

I just picked a little over a cup of black raspberries off the vines in my yard. It took less than five minutes. This is not even one-twentieth of the berries that are about to be ready RIGHT NOW, with another bunch not far behind.

I need recipes.
Jams, cobblers, pies, muffins, whatever.

Post in the comment section/call/email me if you have them. I know I could just happen across some random things on the interweb, but I'd rather get the advice of people I know and trust.

Or at least that of people who read my blog.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Purple Pickles!!!


Attention: The purple pickles have returned.
I repeat: The purple pickles have returned.

And it's about damned time.

I finally got my hands on some non-imaginary red pearl onions and have once again transformed them into the best thing ever. Because not only are they pickled nibbules of yumminess, they are also, as I think I've mentioned, PURPLE.

... really purple.

While I concede that there might be some creative labeling here (I would call these closer to the size of small elephants than the size of pearls), they are still deliciously gorgeous, so I'll allow it.

It's like eating amethysts.

The onions are blanched for three minutes, then shocked and peeled. The pickling recipe is the same one I use for pickled carrots, but without the garlic, and replacing the dill seed with 2 tablespoons of pickling spice. The purple color comes from the reaction of the vinegar with the pigment in the onions.

Result: Slightly soft, slightly crunchy, slightly sweet, slightly spicy. Plays well with others. A+

(BTW - I'd like to point out that I made everything on that plate up there, and you can, too.)